I am sick again. It's a running theme in my life this year.
I have been more sick this year than any other year I can remember.
It's getting me down. I am so discouraged right now. There are so many things I need to do and being sick is hindering them all.
This weekend is prom. I was quite sick for senior banquet and only lasted about an hour at that. I invited 5 guests to prom and I will be so so sooo disappointed if I ruin the night.
I'm angry that I'm sick.
What am I supposed to be getting out of this? Can't I just get it already?!
Today was the hardest day. Our entire year book (~45 pages) is due tomorrow and we just started compiling things this week. No one really knows how to use this new program so it basically looks bad. This morning I got there a half hour early to work on it. I shouldn't have even gone to school.
But I really struggle with this. I never know for sure when I am just coping out and giving up and going home to sleep or when my body is truly saying, "Hey stupid person! I can't keep up with you! So I'm shutting down." I don't feel that stressed (except right now because I am sick again and there's too much to do in the next three weeks for me to spend in bed). I don't feel like I do too much. Other people do lots more school stuff, ministries, and even work. I just go to school, occassionally hit the gym, and do two ministries. That's not a lot. Yet I keep getting sick. I keep shutting down.
Or maybe I'm just coping out.
But today I feel like crap.
Today I have cried more times than I have all year because I'm just so discouraged and in pain and just want to be normal again.
I hate being sick. I hate being a pain, a drag, a downer to be around. I hate getting other people sick and then getting blamed for it. I don't mean to get people sick. I don't. But I can't live in a bubble either. I hate this. And this is my "I hate this" face.
aksdjaksjd;
I need prayer, I need motivation, I need healing, I need rest and to not feel guilty or like I'm a failure for resting.
And yet, I need to not rely on feelings.
Here's to health-
cday
I have been more sick this year than any other year I can remember.
It's getting me down. I am so discouraged right now. There are so many things I need to do and being sick is hindering them all.
This weekend is prom. I was quite sick for senior banquet and only lasted about an hour at that. I invited 5 guests to prom and I will be so so sooo disappointed if I ruin the night.
I'm angry that I'm sick.
What am I supposed to be getting out of this? Can't I just get it already?!
Today was the hardest day. Our entire year book (~45 pages) is due tomorrow and we just started compiling things this week. No one really knows how to use this new program so it basically looks bad. This morning I got there a half hour early to work on it. I shouldn't have even gone to school.
But I really struggle with this. I never know for sure when I am just coping out and giving up and going home to sleep or when my body is truly saying, "Hey stupid person! I can't keep up with you! So I'm shutting down." I don't feel that stressed (except right now because I am sick again and there's too much to do in the next three weeks for me to spend in bed). I don't feel like I do too much. Other people do lots more school stuff, ministries, and even work. I just go to school, occassionally hit the gym, and do two ministries. That's not a lot. Yet I keep getting sick. I keep shutting down.
Or maybe I'm just coping out.
But today I feel like crap.
Today I have cried more times than I have all year because I'm just so discouraged and in pain and just want to be normal again.
I hate being sick. I hate being a pain, a drag, a downer to be around. I hate getting other people sick and then getting blamed for it. I don't mean to get people sick. I don't. But I can't live in a bubble either. I hate this. And this is my "I hate this" face.
aksdjaksjd;
I need prayer, I need motivation, I need healing, I need rest and to not feel guilty or like I'm a failure for resting.
And yet, I need to not rely on feelings.
Here's to health-
cday
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