Conflicted

I feel like I haven't been true to myself lately. I haven't let myself release anything tangible into the world in too long. I feel so bottled up and yet so dry at the same time. I need to paint or write something sweetly profound and sing. I haven't taken a meaningful picture in weeks, months? And yet now I feel like I don't have time. I feel like my creativity is disintegrating. And I'm not even trying to hold onto it. Maybe it was fake to begin with. Maybe it's just a life, theoretically I'd like to live. But when it comes down to it, I can't ever pull it off right. I can't ever be a creative mind, enough.
I'm staring at this cup I painted on my desk and it is empty. Shiny, but empty. Hmm.