I want More...

Lately I've been feeling God's works in my life. This is true. I've felt doors opening and closing and wisdom seeping into my life through situations and great Godly counselors. Yet...I want more. I want to feel like I did at camp. Abandoned to His love. Experiencing the Holy Spirit so powerfully I can't think about the worries of my day, I can't speak about my short comings, I can't stand on my own two feet. I just want to feel the presence of God in a bigger way in my life.
During a song in worship tonight we were sing "Come Lord Jesus Come...Holy Spirit Come" and I was crying out, I was trying my hardest to press in, be open and not let the people in the room distract me from my time with the Lord. Then I was asking, "Lord, why are hiding from me, why are you hiding your face? Come for me, deliver me here...I know I've made mistakes, but send me your Spirit..." Then, for some reason, I felt like the wait wasn't over. God made the Israelites wait years and years under their conquerers after they "forgot" God. I realize there was a time when I forgot God, there are many times in my single days that I forget God. The wait is not over. I think I need to prove to myself, to God, that I'm for real. That I will not let the things of this world conquer me. That I will not turn to earthly relationships for affirmation, or materialism for earthly gain. I need to continue to press in, through this desert time. Though there may be only the now regular mana to eat on my journey, where I'm at and what I'm taking in, it's a miracle still. And greater things are ahead if I just keep pressing on, keep rising up. Even in the desert, I have to keep walking. And I think God is slowly making this more clear.
Better things are coming...and I'll keep pressing on...because I want so much more.