Company. Just Keep Going.

The past week has been insane. I have done more than I ever remember doing and yet not a lot at all and this makes me happy. Even okay.

Saturday was the beach with Allie and James for a few hours. Jeff's Burgers, Rubios, and James' house accompanied this.
Sunday was I can't really remember but I'm sure it was exciting. Maybe Alyssa's graduation party?
Monday mom and I dropped off a bunch of letters to all the teachers at Pepper Drive school explaining our gift for Mrs. MacIntosh's retirement. Einstein Bagels was next. Then it was the gym for the first time in a month and a halfish. Small class. But still alright. Then a 4 mile walk/jog in Mission Trails Park. Good stuff.
Tuesday I met with Shelbi, Allie, and James at Starbucks for an hour or so. Then Shelbi and I left to go thrifting for cheap sweatshirts that we could cut up to make stuffed animals the next day. We went to two or three thrift stores before trying Target. I found a fuzzy brown jacket at the Salvation Army which was perfect for my monkey. Shelbi got a $4 sweatshirt at Target that was green, yellow, and teal.
After thrifting we went to Yogurt Mill and I was 25 cents short and they don't take plastic but she said that's okay. While there we decided Shelbi should just try spending the night and we should go rent Donnie Darko and Lars and the Real Girl. So we did and both movies were funny.
Wednesday was spent sewing in the morning after filling out Shelb's grad invites.
Then James came over and I gave him a hair cut. He has curly hair and it was long and he wanted it short. Well, Allie wanted it short. So it was a bit tricky. Especially since I don't cut hair. But it actually looked decent and I liked doing it. I'm cutting Shelbi's bangs soon. But not until after she graduates tomorrow. Anyway, after cutting James' hair we ate lunch, then they all dispersed. They came back later, around 8:45 to play cards, Phase 10. And then left around 10:30-11:00. Allie was going to stay the night and we were going to go to James' to pick up Steele Magnolia, but Alyssa had a seizure again and she's a good sister so she went home to console and I cleaned my room and thought about people and things.
Today Connor and I rented Cloverfield and Enchanted, I went to the school to drop retirement gifts off, then Shelbi came over to finish sewing Lars, her lizard, and we watched some of The Nightmare Before Christmas because it's on my list of movies I haven't seen but should. We also made cup cakes. She made the cake, I frosted. After almost finishing my monkey we decided we should go to small group, the last one, but I got Starbucks first. So now I'm wired.
At small group we talked about boys and then played Phase 10, ate Caesar salad, Costco everything-on-it pizza, and cup cakes, of course.
After almost everyone left, Shelbi, Alexia, Allie and I decided to go re-rent the movie Wristcutters: A Love Story, because Allie said she'd seen part of it and it was quirky good. That's my kind of movie, so I drove. The movie really was good. So strange. But good.
Now I am finally home and there's no one here but it wasn't bad being with people all week. I don't know how people do it all the time and I don't think I could, but I'm not worn out of it quite yet. Allie and I kind of hang out in heavy spurts. We get all our hanging out over with in the span of 5 days and then we don't hang out for a few months. But I think this summer will be different.
I learned what happens last time.
Tomorrow is Foothills High School graduation at 6:30 (?) and I'll be going to that for Shelbi and Jesse. But around 2:30 I might go to Kayla's to have some girl talk time because we haven't done that in over a week and I think (hope) we're trying to make a habit of it. It'd be a good one to have, I think.
After the graduation the plan is to have another movie night with whoever.
It's been a crazy, fun, exciting, really spontaneous (in my terms), week.

Good times.


And tonight my girls helped me have a revelation:

I've never thought of being honest.
Saying when I don't feel well. When I'm having a bad day. When I just want to talk about something that actually matters.
I always keep the walls up because, well maybe I thought that's what you're supposed to do. And I guess maybe I make it worse this time versus with other people because this one actually matters. So I try too hard. We both do. And it doesn't work. Because who are we? And then how am I supposed to know?

This has the potential to change things.
But probably not over night.