Higher Ground and Relationships

Alright, so I did it! I gave my testimony at Higher Ground and, well, I was probably less than eloquent, but it happens to the best of them and for my first time speaking it was alright. I based what I had to say on Matthew 7:7, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you", which has kind of been the theme of my life lately. Basically I told the group that I haven't done anything awful in my life...the Lord didn't save me from drugs and alcohol but he's showed me a lot of things in my short little life. When I was at El Cajon Weslyan, after a while, I was feeling like I was just going to church because my parents went there. I didn't feel "the Spirit" as one of the cutest little girls said today. Plus I didn't have any friends to hold me up or encourage me at ECWC. So there I was asking the Lord to strengthen my relationship with him, to give me great Godly friends, and to bless me gosh darn it. But I wasn't seeking him. I wasn't reading my Bible. I even stopped going to church for a while. And when I was asking, I wasn't believing he would do it. Then, slightly randomly, I visited Foothills one night and met one of my now best friends, Allie Hansen. The moment I stepped out in faith, by myself, got out of my comfort zone, and started seeking, the Lord worked. It was amazing. And it still never ceases to amaze me.

Anyway, the kids had lots of questions, but still seemed kind of disappointed I hadn't dealt with alcohol, drugs, and sex. Aaron, a fellow leader, stepped in to help me there by saying not everyone has to go through those kinds of things and just because they didn't doesn't mean their testimony is any more or less than another person's. God has blessed me with not having to deal with the things the kids had expected.

Well, all in all it was a good experience and God gave me a real sense of peace while speaking to the group, which I had been praying for all day! But honestly I feel kind of like it was my initiation into the leader group. Well, it just went well and that's all.

Afterward Jenny and I finally got to ee again at Starbucks. We talked mainly about guys and relationships and how I've been feeling pressured lately to go back on my plan of not dating/being in a relationship in high school. Well, I'm not so much feeling an emotional attack. I know I'm not ready for a relationship and I know it's not God's plan right now at all. And I'm completely at peace with that. It's just it seems like outside sources are pressuring me in swarms lately and I needed some reassurance and advice on how to let people down and deal with everything. I told Jenny that I just feel like God's saying, "Yea, there's all these people who are trying to pursue you...but they don't even know you like I know you. Pursue me. I'm worth it. Be faithful to me first." I'm trying to do the best I can right now and I'm going to keep working on it despite all the obstacles.